The First Night (Part 1)

I called my buddy Steve and let him know where I got the “audition” and he expressed to me how lucky I was to “have tits waved in your face 24/7”. Steve went on and on about how I should get him free lap dances and beer. The comment was typical male banter of someone who hasn’t been laid for months.

As I was taught at an early age, to make a good impression, one must show up to work early and show you are willing to put in some extra time. My grandfather and father lived by this rule. I had always taken this rule to heart and on this night, I would show up early.

I reached the club door at 7:40pm and knocked. No answer. I knocked a few more times until a guy opened the door and peered out into the sunlight. This guy was maybe 5’6” in height, but he was built like a brick shit house. He simply looked at me and said “Doors aren’t open for another 20 minutes, so fuck off!” The door was promptly slammed in my face. Determined, I knocked again, and again. Finally the door was opened once more and another guy looked out and asked me “What’d you want?” I was confused by this time and not quite sure if anyone knew I was coming, or if I had the wrong place or something. I looked at the new guy at the door and said, “I’m Tavis, was talking to JP two days ago and told me to come in and learn the ropes”. The guy replied that he was JP and that I was 30 minutes late. The door was opened and I was ushered in.

Walking to the bar, the new guy who introduced himself as JP asked, “You ever work a pussy house before?” My reply was simply “No, but I did some bouncing at a bar back home”. I lied; I had no experience of any kind when it came to bouncing. JP nodded and simply took a drag off his cigarette. There were four guys in uniform standing at the bar; one was the brick shithouse I had met earlier. Three other guys were at the bar as well. I assumed the three guys not in uniform were in the same boat as I.

Little did I know what I was in for next.

How it began.

Times were tight that spring (2001). I just finished my freshman year of College; I had just kicked out my useless and troublesome roommate. I was also broke. As a college student, you receive all your scholarships and bursary money at the beginning of the year, and desperately try to budget the money so it may last for the 8 months of school. Naturally you piss a good chunk of the dough away at the bars, and then become a cheap skate to stretch every penny you have. This lowers you to stealing ketchup, straws, napkin dispensers and toilet paper from every fast food joint you can think of. I was no different.

I maxed out my credit cards and had creditors calling me every day. I needed a job. I needed a job desperately. As a former employee of the food industry, there was no fucking way I would be a burger slinger at McDonalds. I wanted something else, something better, and something exotic.

WANTED: Doormen to work at gentleman's club. Must be 19 years of age and possess previous doorman experience. Please call 555-5555 for more information.

Gentleman’s' club? I knew from the phone number that this “gentleman’s' club “ was the local sin bin. The one I had graced a few times previous as all college males do. Working at a strip club? What more could at 21-year-old guy want? The thought of being surrounded by beautiful woman was too good to pass up. I called the number and talked to the manager. He said they needed one guy to start next week and they were having a "try out" session in two days. The manager invited me to show up at 8pm (in two days)"to learn the ropes". I told him I would be there.

Fuck yeah, an interview. I was on cloud nine.